So today’s the day that purafertility was officially born and gets to interact with the outside world for the first time as opposed to just being a creative vision in my head. And in my head it has been for some time. After each knock back on my own quest to being a mother, one of the things that got me back on my feet each and every time was the desire to make it mean something.
If I could bundle up all the learnings, all the insights and all the ‘if only’ perceptions that came from my experiences, coupled with my knowledge of holistic health, to make someone else’s journey that much easier, to help them achieve their baby dream, then it was not without purpose after all.
With this in mind I've kept a notebook over the last few years where I've jotted down tips and tools to share with foreseeable clients – from little things that doctors didn’t think to tell me, such as ‘after about 30 minutes of taking oral progesterone your body is going to go into automatic sleep mode so best not be driving, or doing anything else for that matter where that may be a problem’… to somewhat bigger dilemmas such as what tests to have as a minimum when doing a base line fertility work-up, to much more complex personal deliberations regarding choice of IVF clinic or assessing the legal implications of using a surrogate.
I held myself accountable to that notebook, the vision within it's pages, of being of service to others navigating fertility challenges. Amongst my own heartache and losses it gave me a determination to keep on going, to keep putting big picture thinking to the ‘assignment’ I’ve been given.
Everyone’s path to parenthood is completely unique to them and I’m learning to embrace mine more and more, so as to feel like I am flowing more freely downstream, rather than stuck on a branch getting bashed about. I used to constantly feel in ‘fight’ mode, brandishing arms to the Universe, with thoughts such as ‘why me’, ‘this is so unfair’, but I’ve come to understand that in laying down those arms to rest, in giving up the struggle, it does not mean one has given up the dream, it’s more about coming to peace with the process. I have not got it totally nailed but regardless of the weather, I have a lot more sunny days now than grey ones.
The best way of predicting our future is our thoughts in the now, because all thoughts with enough focus have the potential to become things, so I’ve become a lot more mindful that it's the good ones I pick, give energy to and believe in.
This morning I woke up with a mix of nervous excitement and trepidation knowing today signified day one of the next chapter of my life, my thoughts swinging from ‘wow I’m finally doing this, is this for real?’ to ‘am I actually good enough to do this?’ (as I said on some days I haven’t quite got the thought thing completely down pat). Well I got my answer - on my way to my laptop to do a final check on the website my phone beeped with a message and distracted me. This was what I opened to see:
‘’Don’t be afraid. You needn’t scale the entire mountain. That’s not how it’s done. You only need to move through today Lisa. Think of the distance you’ve already covered. Focus on your strengths. Let each new step remind you of your freedom. Let your very breath remind you of your power. Seek out friends and guides to help.
You’re not alone. You’re understood. This road has been walked before. Dance life’s dance, just a few steps at a time and in the wink of an eye you will wonder to yourself what mountain? Was I having a dream?’’
TUT Today’s note from the Universe.
It could not have been a more perfect reminder to trust in myself and trust the process.
So if you feel like you’re facing your own mountain on your life path right now and haven’t got a clue how you’re going to scale the summit, just set yourself a marker for today and then the next day, even if it’s the smallest of actions, just a single thing, that puts you further ahead than where you were yesterday. That is enough, just do your best in the moment and don’t be too hard on yourself, if rather than step forward you sometimes slip, or even stumble backwards, just seize the next moment to do better.
And in the process always look for ways to feel joy amongst the effort. One that always works for me is music, my power play list of songs that connects me with something within myself to dig a little deeper, rise a little higher and gets me pumped up ‘Rocky’ style, fuelling the self-belief that I CAN DO THIS.
If I need further motivation, especially on the harder days, I hold my mountain top view in my head and start imagining my friends and family lined up on the road cheering me on and slapping me on the back as climb further and further to the summit and to the finishing line. Often that’s enough just to reset my focus, lift my vibration and spur me on.
With that in mind I would like to give a BIG public thank you to all my amazing friends and family, who have championed me on, held my hand, scooped me up when I’ve fallen, nursed by scrapes and just always been there for me, through the tears and the laughter, never judging, forever encouraging, always loving. I feel very lucky to have you. Today is for you as much as it is for me. Thank you.
On a final note it felt particularly auspicious as the final touches to the website came together this week to launch myself out there on the day of the blue moon, a time of creative energy, that supports us in connecting with our inner knowing so that we can be intuitively inspired in manifesting our desires. It encourages us to be brave, bold, shake off the familar and take now or never chances, hence the saying 'once in a blue moon'. To ask outright for what we want and trust that we will indeed line up with our dreams.